There are few activities in the world that allow a person to work and be one with the elements, earth, wind, fire, or water. With the sport of surfing three of the four elements are essential to the surfer’s success. I would like to write a research paper on the fundamentals of the sport of surfing. I will go into what creates waves, the elements, and how they work together to form waves that a human can ride. I will talk about the location of popular surf spots and incorporate the first topic. I will go into the history of the sport from it’s start in the Hawaiian Islands, how it came to America and how it has changed over the many years of the sports history.
I would like to write about surfing because the sport has been part of my family for generations and I would like to pass on the gift that surfing can bring into people’s lives.
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Avoid starting your lead paragraph (or any paragraph, for that matter) using passive voice (There are...). Instead, just say:
Few activities allow a person to work and be one with the elements: earth, wind, fire and water. (Also note corrected punctuation.)
Here's the next problem: I don't want a research paper; I want you to write a feature or trend story. I'd like you to figure out how to make this a local story about surfing, so you can interview local surfers and get some good quotes and anecdotes.
...from its (not it's) start...
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